Lesbian Brides and Gay Mail Order Grooms | LGBTQ Representation and Rights

Nowadays, International marriages are becoming more popular: thus, in 2022, around 38700 applicants got approved for their K-1 visas in the USA. And this number includes gay mail order brides/grooms, too. 

LGBTQ mail order spouses are people who seek international marriages with those who would understand and share their LGBTQ preferences. A gay mail order bride is usually those who couldn’t find support in their homeland because of their worldview or even were persecuted and threatened for their love preferences. Studies show that LGBTQ identification is more common among the younger generation, and thus, such mail order spouses are usually in their 20s-30s. 

The New York Times, referring to the American Community Survey, states that for 2021, there were about 1.2 million same-sex couple households in the USA. 

Why do LGBTQ members become mail order brides/husbands? 

                                  “Are there male order husbands/brides in my country?”

According to a new Pew Research Center analysis, same-sex marriages are legal in more than 30 countries, and 175 countries worldwide have become more LGBTQ -friendly since 1820, which ensures you will find male order grooms and lesbian brides in this world.

Although it sounds good that there are so many LGBTQ-friendly countries, being accepted is not enough as many such couples there still face challenges in marrying, which makes them register on bride lesbian/gay websites and find a like-minded person abroad. 

In addition, some countries not only do not accept LGBTQ marriages but also criminalize such relationships. Thus, according to the Human Dignity Trust, 65 countries ban same-sex activity, while 12 even impose the death penalty on those suspected of doing such activity, which includes African countries predominantly, such as Somalia, Saudi Arabia, and UAE. Being yourself in such countries is dangerous to life, which also becomes the reason for people there to become mail order brides and grooms in more adequate countries, like the USA, for example.

Who is Lesbian Mail Order Brides?

A lesbian mail order bride refers to a woman seeking to marry another woman from a different country. This concept emerges as a solution to the unique challenges lesbian women may face in finding love, particularly when faced with societal and cultural constraints. The term “mail order bride” in this context does not imply a transactional or commodified relationship. Instead, it’s about a woman’s pursuit of a meaningful, loving connection with someone who embraces cultural diversity and is open to building a life with a partner from another cultural background.

This approach provides lesbian women an avenue to connect with potential partners they might not have otherwise encountered, opening doors to international relationships that transcend traditional boundaries. It’s about finding compatibility and love beyond geographical limits, offering an opportunity to those who seek a deep, committed relationship with a partner from a different part of the world.

Same-sex Marriage Statistics

We have already mentioned about the Pew Research Center findings that same-sex marriages are legal in more than 30 countries. But what do the statistics say about gay unions in these countries? The article “In places where same-sex marriages are legal, how many married same-sex couples are there?” shows quite interesting facts: 

• Spain is a leader in same-sex friendliness, having 3.4% of the 148,588 marriages registered in 2021 as LGBTQ – the highest number among all other countries. Second place belongs to the United Kingdom, with 3.3% of all marriages registered. 
• Around twenty same-sex-friendly countries, including the USA, distinguish gay and lesbian marriages, showing that the majority of such unions happen between women. However, Ecuador, Portugal, Switzerland, and Costa Rica have more male order husbands marriages than female-female gay unions.

Williams Institute also gathered data on same-sex marriages, but for the US exclusively: 

• The average age of same-sex married couples is 45. 
• 4% of women and 8% of men in same-sex unions are non-US citizens.
• The race/ethnicity table shows that 74% of individuals in same-sex marriages are white, 11% – Latino/a, and 9% – Black – the most dominant groups.

The LGBTQ Representation and Rights Research Initiative at the University of North Carolina engages scholars, activists, and government officials on some of the most pressing topics of today. In the last year, the Initiative released groundbreaking research on trans and gender variant political candidates and elected officials worldwide and took a stand against discriminatory legislation in our home state of North Carolina. Currently, the Initiative is collecting new data on the presence of LGBTQ legislators at the state level, researching representation and rights in Asia, Latin America, Europe and closely tracking elections at home and abroad.

Our mission is to foster and contribute to a growing community interested in LGBTQ representation and rights.  We welcome your input and contributions!

General mail order marriage statistics by countries

Online dating has become a popular avenue for people worldwide to find love, with a significant number of men and women engaging in this modern method of finding a partner. Let’s delve into the statistics that illustrate this trend:

Men’s Engagement in Online Dating:

• United States : Approximately 17% of American online daters have successfully met a romantic partner on the internet, with 30% knowing someone who has. The age group of 18-54 years old shows the highest activity, but interestingly, 12% of singles over 55 also engage in online dating, highlighting its relevance across ages.
• Canada : Around 500,000 Canadians are predicted to use online dating for seeking partners. A quarter of Canadians aged 18-35 have tried online dating, with 25% of committed relationships starting online. User penetration is expected to reach 7.4% by 2025.
• The United Kingdom : Nearly 25% of single internet users in the UK are interested in finding a life partner online, with men making up a larger proportion of this group. Many are seeking mail order brides from countries like India, Thailand, Belarus, Brazil, etc.
• Australia : Australian men are actively seeking mail order brides, with about 4.5 million using online dating annually. The online dating segment’s revenue was around $45 million in 2021.

Women’s Participation in Online Dating:

• United States : Around 60% of American women use dating apps to find romantic partners, while 27% are looking for platonic connections, which sometimes evolve into something more.
• Indonesia : About half of the women use matchmaking apps to meet people they wouldn’t encounter in their everyday lives, including many who use international mail order bride platforms.
• France : In 2020, 32% of women under thirty had profiles on dating sites, making it a viable option for those seeking young European women.
• Worldwide : In 2020, about 33% of single, divorced, or widowed women were registered on online dating services, showing a diverse range of life situations among members.

These statistics reveal that online dating is a widely accepted and effective way for both men and women to meet potential partners, including those from different countries.

Divorce Rates in Mail Order Marriages

Research from a decade ago indicated a higher likelihood of divorce (41%) in intermarried couples compared to those marrying within their own ethnicity. However, this data doesn’t necessarily represent all families involving a foreign spouse and shouldn’t be seen as a definitive rule. The dynamics of each relationship, especially among those who meet through mail order bride services, play a crucial role in the outcome.

Current Insights on Divorces in Mail Order Marriages:

• Impact of Online Acquaintance: The fact that couples meet online doesn’t inherently impact the quality of their relationship. Surveys show that 54% of people believe a relationship with someone met through an app is as successful as meeting someone in person. Additionally, 50% think online dating doesn’t influence the relationship’s success.
• Variation in Divorce Rates by Country: Divorce rates differ significantly across countries. Nations like India, Chile, Colombia, and Mexico, which have a high number of mail order brides, are among the least divorced globally. This suggests that international marriages with women from these countries tend to be successful and enduring.

These observations highlight that the success of a marriage, including those formed through mail order bride services, depends on various factors, with the mode of meeting (online or offline) being just one element of the broader relationship context.

Cindy Anthony